Latest in my color poem series. Please comment. I am having trouble with the ending. I am trying to get in idea of the serpent eating it’s own tail somehow. I didn’t want the clerk to say, "Go eat yourself!" though.

Serpentine

Eats the praise
of his MySpace pictures
like it is a 30 course meal.
He has got so much,
“OMG you are so hwat!”
around his waist
he can’t get out of his chair
anymore.
The tally of friends
on his MySpace
would fill the dining hall
of Windsor Castle,
The Forbidden City,
and Versailles
and have started to
round out his chin
making him a little
pudgy.

Of course
he doesn’t see this
when he takes his
professional photos
at high angles
he sees his
“amazing eyes”,
“cute smile”,
and “sick hoodie”.
and so in an
entrepreneurial endeavor
he marketed himself
as the latest a greatest
piece of sugar coated eye candy
with a cause since MLK
serving everyone
a long blog on how
he didn’t care
what anyone thought
and they could all
fuck themselves
he would be famous
and they would be nothing.
He disposed of
anyone with any criticism
by having his 13 year old wait staff
remove them
from his restaurant
through spamming.

He expanded his enterprise
to Stickcam where
he had a “cooking show”
which was an hour of
giggling and comments
about how cute and noble
he was trying to educate people
about eating healthy,
that his tofu burgers were, “nummers”.
He felt his success was so
great that he started to ask
his patrons for “tips” in the jar
so he could expand his cause.
But soon his devotees began to notice
that his sauces were thinner
his meals were not as well rounded
the fruits of his show were not as fresh
but he had new clothes and a new haircut,
his face looked just slightly different
around the chin.

Then on a Friday evening
his ego empire,
his saccharine shrine to himself
was raided, desecrated
by hackers who sprayed
his entire teenage crop with
pesticides.
It was as if someone
had put too much salt
in the soup,
nothing could be done to make
it taste better..
Serpentine steamed
in all caps blog
about this recipe of disaster
with very few complete words
and almost no punctuation
except for the !!!!!!
it was just big slab of
rank steak that nobody wanted.
His internet had rotted away
everything he had
cooked up was spoiled
and his gluttony weighed
down on him
like a sack of old potatoes.

He called a the local
computer store to order up
some tech support
but the “Jerk!” at the store told him
“We are fresh out.”
So he got rude
and started boiling up,
and the clerk calmly told
Serpentine to “Go fuck himself”
and hung up.

Bear 2009
Shannon you totally saved my poem! Now it has some structure and is going someplace. I will post the revision later! Yay I am so happy!

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Tags: angles, cooking show, cute smile, devotees, dining hall, entrepreneurial endeavor, eye candy, forbidden city, friday evening, hoodie, Hwat, myspace, new haircut, Omg, patrons, Poem, professional photos, sauces, serpent, serpentine, Spamming, Tally, tofu burgers, versailles, windsor castle